I was lookin for a party on a Saturday night

Stayin outta trouble, avoidin a fight

I was walkin the streets wonderin what to do

Then I passed this house and out steps you

I said hey pretty lady come over here

I said hey pretty lady lemme buy you a beer

Right now I knew that I had the one

I finally found my only true love

We walked down the street to the liquor store

She said she aint a slut and she aint a whore

Well I bought some of this and I bought her some of that

I bought her everything cause she wasn’t fat

She had hair on her lip that I’ll never forget

But I really needed laid so I took what I could get

Maybe not perfect and beginning to swell

But it’s already three so what the hell

I took her back to my place and got Bicardi drunk

That bitch really stank yeah just like a skunk

I drug her leg first and laid her in bed

Then I stripped off her panties but I saw some red

I didn’t give a fuck so I ate her out

Even though her pussy smelled of dead trout

There’s nothing like fishing

In the comfort of bed

I woke the next morning and let out a shout

Said what the fuck is this what’s it all about

My dick was swollen up and lookin’ kinda green

I tried to close my eyes and forget what I had seen

She said she didn’t really know what it was

Had it since thirteen caught it from her cuz

Surely it’s not true

I only wanna be with you

I went to the doctor the following day

He said sit down and do what I say

He got a brillo pad and some chlorox bleach

It hurt really bad so I let out a screech

Stop scrubbin’ there doc I started to plead

Stop scrubbin’ there doc cause I’m startin’ to blead

An hour of torture and it was finally done

He said stay home and take ‘er easy son

Suffer like this I would do for no other

But I’d do anything for dear old mother

I stayed at home for a week or so

Then I had to start searchin’ for that ho

I found her down on the south-east side

I said get in let’s go for a ride

Well that dumb bitch smiled and got right in

I said sit down and let the games begin

I tied the ho up and stuck her in her ass

Just one more time I couldn’t hardly pass

I stuck her three times and she started to shiver

Now the dirty slut’s sleepin’ at the bottom of the river